Reviews

Earlier this week, it was World Theatre Day, and seeing everyone's posts about it had me feeling extra grateful that this career path turned out the way it did.

Theatre Royal Newcastle - where we opened Miss Saigon

The day didn't start out that way, however. 

An interview I did with the Miss Saigon social marketing team was recently posted on Instagram, and it garnered a lot more attention than I was expecting - mostly from my friends and family, but this morning I awoke to what seemed like hundreds of notifications from my social media apps. It was overwhelming, and I felt so much love from everyone who were sending me comments and messages.

That's when I went down a dangerous rabbit hole.

After replying to all of the comments and messages from my friends and family, and reading a few wonderful comments from folks who came to see the show in other cities, I thought: we just opened in Nottingham - I wonder what the reviews from the local papers were saying?

Mostly positive things - except for the few that weren't.

Two sources said that my portrayal of Thuy was over-dramatic/exaggerated.
Another source was from a theatre forum, who DOUBLED DOWN on their dislike of my portrayal of the role in the same thread. 

Needless to say, it was a little hard to get out of bed this morning...

I actually started to think about changes I could make in my performance in order to be not over-dramatic or exaggerated or, in plainer terms, not shit. I proceeded to message Megan about it, and she reined me in with something that we always say when it comes to the work we put out or if we disagree on what we thought about shows we've seen: 

Art is subjective.

I took a breath, dragged myself out of bed, made breakfast, chatted with my digs host, and went for a walk before going to Lidl to buy some lunch and snacks.

Out on my stroll in Nottingham
after reading reviews

There is a great deal of this career that deals with external judgements; going into an audition room where you essentially will be judged by a panel of people who get to decide whether or not they'll hire you, theatre patrons who will personally give you/others their opinions about your performance whether they're positive or negative, or reviews from bloggers/papers that thousands of people will read to be influenced and informed about whether or not the show is worth seeing.

It's no wonder why so many of us in the industry don't read reviews. I say "so many of us" knowing full well that I'm guilty of taking a peek every once in a while...

It's so interesting to me why we let the subjective opinions of others affect us so much; whether we are in the industry or not. Even as a patron, I find myself reading a review and automatically forming my opinion of the show before having even seen it for myself.

I can't think of a time in my career where a review has seriously made me feel bummed to the point where it had me question my worth as an artist, but the aforementioned ones about my performance as Thuy certainly made me feel this way for a hot second. Is it because it's my first major role in a major show? Is it because I feel so precious about the work I've done in the rehearsal room to make the role as three-dimensional as possible?

That's all that matters though, right? That we're proud of the work we do? 

But then what's the point if people don't like the work?

A book called The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin gives us the answer:

“If you’ve truly created an innovative work, it’s likely to alienate as many people as it attracts. The best art divides the audience. If everyone likes it, you probably haven’t gone far enough.”

So in other words, if we try to appeal to the masses TOO much, we dumb down our abilities as artists, and in return, are unable to reach the work's true potential.

It all seems very woo-woo, but we're not in the business of absolutes.

This all has served a great reminder to me that art is subjective, and that the opinions of a few shouldn't bring me down. 

Keep doing the work. Realize it to its full potential. And if you're proud of it enough to share it, that's all that matters in the end. 

I can't promise that I'll stop reading reviews - but I certainly will read them less. And if I do, I'll remember that it's all subjective.